I was first introduced to cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) by David Burns, in his best-seller, Feeling Good, where he identifies10 cognitive distortions. I practice all of them on a regular basis, despite years of 'understanding' their negative effects. Fortune-telling, a subset of Jumping to Conclusions is perhaps my favorite.
Last week I spent a beautiful spring day in New Jersey with my sister Maggie, who lives in southern California. We visited our disabled brother, Mike, at a LTACH (Long Term Acute Care Hospital) in Newark, then drove 22 miles south to our parents’ grave in Perth Amboy, provincial capital of the colony of New Jersey. We planned to meet another brother (we have four), Carl, for supper at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q and Pizza, in Montclair. Susan had told Maggie that parking was tight. As I drove the 26 miles north on the Garden State Parkway, I struggled to talk myself down. To avoid rush-hour traffic, we planned to arrive at Ruthie’s 2 hours before our date and take a long walk in the lovely township of Montclair. If we parked in their parking lot so early, would someone from the restaurant notice us walking away and call a tow truck? My attempts to quiet my mind failed, so as we got off the parkway, I admitted my fears to Maggie.
“You always go for the worst-case scenario, Mary.”
I was taken aback. I recognize (sometimes) my modus operandi, but I didn’t realize I was so transparent about it.
As it turned out, there is no parking lot at Ruthie's and we parked on the street. Checking my GPS, we found Eagle Rock Reservation and drove to the 9/11 memorial with it's stunning view of the NYC skyline.
Back at Ruthie's, we again parked just across the street and enjoyed a lovely supper with Carl before I headed back up to Lexington.
What's your quirk that is obvious to everyone around you? (or at least to those who love you)?
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So, I recognized WCS behavior because in other situations, I practice it quite well. Before cell phones, when John was late, in my mind he was dead on the side of the road without his ID, so they had no way to know to contact me!
ReplyDeleteAs a bullied, shunned child who wore steel hip braces during much of childhood,l I have a default where I expect to be bullied and shunned and find it almost impossible to feel liked and accepted. I work with it; I don't know how obvious it is or is not.
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