The Gift

The Cambridge Stake choir and orchestra presented their audiences with a gift this past weekend: Rob Gardner's oratorio: Lamb of God. With practice, prayer, and the wisdom I wrote about on March 20th, I sang in the choir with just a few tears. When emotion would start to well up, I’d stare at the back wall, focus on supporting my sound, and concentrate on the gift.

The copyright arrangement included permission to stream the performances live on Facebook and leave the video up until 11:59 p.m. on Monday night.

Monday morning, I spent an embarrassingly long time identifying the timestamps of my appearances for my family. My silver hair and face were occasionally on camera, hovering behind the pewter-grey post of a floor lamp.

Early in the evening, I listened to the entire piece with Jim, then spent the rest of the evening working on my computer while listening to my favorite parts for hours on end, knowing that the next day the video would be gone. As I listened, I let the beauty of the music and message wash over me and my pent-up emotion flow out in tears. It was my turn to be moved and gratefully accept the gift.

One of the disadvantages of performing is that you don’t get to hear the production. At my skill level, I'm absorbed with technique: counting, coming in at the right time, singing the right notes and words, attending to dynamics and phrasing. What a luxury to spend the evening opening the gift, over and over again.