Last Hospital Stay

Two years ago

Friday, July 24, 2015, David was admitted inpatient to Lunder 10 for belly pain. He was weak and thin: six feet tall and 135 pounds. Over the next eight days, I posted to my blog five times. Matt and I spent time with David in the hospital; Matt decided to postpone his return to Chicago; R’el called from NYC; Annie called from China. In the hospital, the doctors identified the source of the belly pain and with a simple, five-minute procedure the blockage was cleared. With the belly pain gone, David’s throat pain came back, full-force, so Matt and I slept in David’s hospital room overnight.

Meanwhile, Jim spent a few well-deserved days in Shelley and Blackfoot, Idaho, enjoying the fruits of a huge, two-year labor of love: the Alan and Mary Cannon Family Reunion. Alan and Mary Cannon were Jim’s mom’s parents. 168 people enjoyed the weekend, including our Sam and Savannah from California, Jim’s mom, aunts and uncles, and three generations of cousins.

Late July 2017

I’ve had much calmer emotional weather this week. Reading a few lines from Melissa Dalton-Bradford’s On Loss and Living Onward last week pulled me right back into the intense grief. But it didn’t last. I am in a much different place, a better place, than two years ago. The intense, double-over-in-pain attacks haven't happened for a while. When I cry, I feel really sad, but the feeling dissipates.

Re-reading the late July blog posts from two years ago is painful. So many hopes that died. For example, in the hospital, David had a clear, juice-like version of the protein drink Ensure. Desperately wanting him to get nourishment, we ordered a case of it online. By the time it arrived, the window of opportunity had closed: he never took a sip.

Today I walked 14 miles on the Minuteman Bike Path with my friend Susanne. The sky was blue and the trees lining the path the mature green of early August. In 25 days I’m going to walk the Mesa Falls Half Marathon in the Caribou-Targhee National Forest near Ashton, Idaho, not far from Yellowstone.There’s a coupon for a free huckleberry milkshake waiting for me at the finish line.