Ejection Fraction

Two Years Ago

Friday, August 15th, David has an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart). His ejection fraction (EF), the percentage of blood that is ejected from the heart chamber at each heartbeat, is 43%. That’s an improvement from the end of May, but not the 58% expected in a 26-year-old Army medic. Daunorubicin, one of the very toxic chemo drugs David was given at Walter Reed, probably caused the heart damage. David’s been on heart medicine since his first echocardiogram at the end of May, when the EF was 36%. All spring he walked stooped over, like an 85-year-old heart patient.

            Dr. Amir Fathi, the 'leukemia doctor', spends a long time discussing David’s situation with the three of us. It’s very serious that the leukemia has returned. Because of David’s young age, Dr. Fathi will consider aggressive treatments and investigate clinical trials and see if David qualifies for any of them. The heart damage may disqualify him.

            Many months ago, before the leukemia, we rented a vacation house on the Long Island Sound, in Clinton, Connecticut, for our week-long Summer Retreat with our children (and grandchild!). We’ll drive there tomorrow. David can’t be out in public, but he can ride in a car and be with family in the house and yard.

August 12, 2016

For David’s first death anniversary Jim and I get up early and visit his grave. The grass has grown in and matches the color of the lawn; there's a freshly-dug grave nearby.

With temperatures forecast for the 90s, we close up our house against the heat, retreat into Jim’s office coachhouse, and turn the air conditioning on. During the day, five different friends bring flowers. In the afternoon my friend, Cami, helps me move David’s bed into the girls’ old room and reattach it as the top of a bunkbed. I set up a double bed in David’s room in preparation for our Summer Retreat next week. Although we’ve moved David’s bed, I will always call it ‘David’s room’. I’ve hung a photo of him on the wall: the portrait of him looking ‘extremely presentable’ at Peter’s and Xiomara’s wedding in 2011. Matt had it printed on glass as a gift to us; Annie held it for our family wedding pictures in June.

Oh, and just to make the day memorable, we discover a skunk sleeping under our kitchen porch. I leave the gate open and do internet research on skunks. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) they are one of the five "wild reservoirs of rabies", but this critter doesn't seem rabid. They rarely spray unless very frightened and cornered. Somewhat comforting, but what if this skunk didn't get the memo?
By nightfall the skunk has left. I move the extra recycling bins, the ones the skunk was napping behind, into the basement and hope the area doesn't become its den.

And thus begins our second year.