SWIM! part two

While scrolling through my blogposts, I noticed Stop Whining! and SWIM! (Stop Whining Instantly, Mary!), which I wrote last April and May. So how am I doing on my campaign? Last Spring, I’d been whining about my inability to read and retain information. Embracing audiobooks has helped me reenter the world of books. It’s still frustrating when I struggle to read, but I have a new avenue for information to enter.

A perennial challenge is my hand tremor. Markedly worse in my left hand (and I’m left-handed), I can’t keep my hand steady without support, can’t handle a spoon or a camera or a needle and thread (this from a woman who made her sister’s elaborate wedding dress.). I don’t have an exact date of onset, but, to the best of my knowledge, it developed after my second psychiatric hospitalization, sixteen years ago, when I was put on a new medication. I’ve asked psychiatrists and neurologists about it and tried various drugs, but nothing has helped. Since the med protects me against mania, and does that very well, I have felt I had no recourse.

I recently consulted a psychiatrist in Boston. He suggested a medication that would probably be effective against mania, could possibly be better for my brain, and might, just might, let my brain heal and diminish the tremor. It wouldn’t be immediate and there are no guarantees, but I’m excited to try. The change will take a few months: gradually taking more of the new medicine then tapering off the old. And then just waiting to see if there is any improvement.

It's scary to change medication. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But this has been broken, for a long time. Wish me luck!