Psalm 22

Two Years Ago

End of January 2015

David starts his second 5-day round of decitabine infusion. It’s a fairly gentle chemotherapy; his beard continues to grow and he looks good. Decitabine is slow-acting, so we wait and hope it is attacking the leukemia factory in the bone marrow.

Last week of January 2017

A few weeks ago I listened to a episode of On Being, with Krista Tippet, a podcast I subscribe to. She interviewed Eugene Peterson and discussed his book, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. I was gut-wrenched by his Psalm 22. In the King James version, which I am very familiar with, the psalm begins:

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

Peterson's translation:

God, God . . . my God!
Why did you dump me
miles from nowhere?
Doubled up with pain, I call to God
all the day long. No answer. Nothing.
I keep at it all night, tossing and turning.”

The emotion is raw and powerful.

Today’s the last day of the first month of 2017. After a rocky start, I decided to take it easy and start my New Year on February 2nd, Groundhog Day. (Bill Murray’s movie may be my all-time favorite, which is saying something from a woman who can't ever decide: peach? blueberry? strawberry? I want all of them!) That movie is deeply spiritual to me.

So what does it mean to me, to start my new year? I’ve spent a month thinking about what I do and what I want to do. I’m grappling with the big question: how do I choose what to do among so many good, wholesome, and worthwhile activities?

I think it will be a long-term project.